65 Ron White Quotes On Success In Life

Ronald Dee White is an American stand-up comedian, actor, and author, best known as a charter member of the Blue Collar Comedy Tour. Nicknamed “Tater Salad”, he is the author of the book I Had the Right to Remain Silent But I Didn’t Have the Ability, which appeared on the New York Times bestseller list. These Ron White quotes will motivate you.

Best Ron White Quotes

  1. “I had the right to remain silent… but I didn’t have the ability.” ~ Ron White
  2. “You can’t fix stupid. There’s not a pill you can take or a class you can go to.” ~ Ron White
  3. “I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade… And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.” ~ Ron White
  4. “Years ago, while I was watching a baseball game between the Baltimore Orioles and the Texas Rangers, I remember staring in awe at Cal Ripken. I realized during this game that ‘you don’t have to be flashy or have ‘power numbers’ to be great. It’s about the simple things that are the hard things. It’s about leadership, work ethic, and commitment.” ~ Ron White
  5. “I did not climb to the top of the food chain to eat carrots.” ~ Ron White

  6. “The arresting officer, who I had literally known, all my life. You know what I mean? This guy lived four doors down the street me, in a town of less than four hundred people. *We’ve met.* Now, he takes me to jail, and he asks me if I have any aliases. And I was just being a smartass, and I said, “Yeah. They call me, “Tater Salad!” Seventeen years later, I’m handcuffed on a bench in New York with blood coming out of my nose, and this cop goes, “Are you Ron ‘Tater Salad’ White?” ~ Ron White Quotes
  7. “People are saying that I’m an alcoholic, and that’s not true, because I only drink when I work, and I’m a workaholic.” ~ Ron White
  8. “You can only do two things with your life: give it away or throw it away.” ~ Ron White

  9. “The way my brain processes information is quite odd. I mean, I have Attention Deficit Disorder and another learning disability I can’t even spell. I don’t even have a high school diploma. I’m smart, but you can’t prove it on paper.” ~ Ron White
  10. “In Texas, we have the death penalty, and we use it. That’s right. If you come to Texas and kill somebody, we will kill you back.” ~ Ron White
  11. “I believe that a bad Super Bowl halftime show is still better than a soccer game.” ~ Ron White
  12. “The next time you have a thought… let it go.” ~ Ron White
  13. “When I was about 12 years old back in Houston, my Dad used to take us to the driving range.” ~ Ron White
  14. “We have hearing aids in order to fix our ears. We have lasik surgery in order to fix our eyes. People … you can’t fix stupid!” ~ Ron White
  15. “Diamonds – that’ll shut her up… for a minute!” ~ Ron White

  16. “You wanna get the truth out of me, get me hammered.” ~ Ron White
  17. “Everything creative is somewhat collaborative. If you’re a painter and someone stretches your canvas, it was collaborative on some level. Ultimately I’m the writer for me, but also anytime one of my friends gets stuck with a bit, they can call me and I’m pretty good at helping them get there. I think we all work together on some level, but for the most part, we’re on our own.” ~ Ron White
  18. “If life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade. And try to find somebody who’s life gives them vodka, and have a party.” ~ Ron White
  19. “My only goal is to make you laugh, not tell you the truth.” ~ Ron White

  20. “The bulk of my fans are my age, and I’m aging at the same rate they are. That makes me relevant. They like hearing what I have to say. I work hard at it, but it’s addicting, really.” ~ Ron White
  21. “I was so in love with the idea of making people laugh for a living that I didn’t care what I had to do to get there. Or how much money I was going to make when I did get there.” ~ Ron White , Ron White quotes on money
  22. “I believe everything creative is somewhat collaborative. If you’re a painter and someone stretches your canvas, it was collaborative on some level.” ~ Ron White
  23. “I don’t even plan things until later, so no I got no plans.” ~ Ron White
  24. “I’d rather do a really good small part than a really bad big part.” ~ Ron White

  25. I quit smoking cigarettes and with the $70 a month I am saving not smoking cigarettes I’m smoking $700 worth of cigars.” ~ Ron White
  26. “Barbara was actually Jeff Foxworthy’s interior designer when we first met. So, not only was Jeff responsible for my success in my career, he also introduced me to the woman who I’m going to spend the rest of my life with, which, I think, makes us even.” ~ Ron White
  27. “There are a million really good cigars, you gotta really float around cigars. It’s not like being locked into a brand of cigarettes; at least to me it’s not.” ~ Ron White
  28. “The biggest piece of advice that I give young comedians is: If it’s your goal to get where I’m at, go do something else. Because you’ll never get here. Never. The odds are so bad. Because not only do you have to be a really, really strong comedian but you also have to be lucky. And most people don’t get that combination.” ~ Ron White
  29. “You can’t ride home on a bowl of goat.” ~ Ron White

  30. “I only like the live audience. I don’t even like to do standup where it’s being filmed. Because it affects the way the audience responds to what you say because it makes them uncomfortable. You have to perform in the lightroom, and I prefer a dark room. But I love to perform, and I don’t really see myself doing any television at all.” ~ Ron White Quotes
  31. “You know, my first album, some of those jokes I’d done for twelve years because I couldn’t throw ’em out.” ~ Ron White
  32. “I’m a comedian, and I like to work on my live show, and if I’m doing television, I don’t have time to work on my live show, and I can become a lame comic, and that sucks.” ~ Ron White
  33. “I have had a front-row seat to observe Darren’s success over the last few years and never fully knew the keys to his achievement. He has unselfishly revealed his secrets with The Compound Effect so that others can learn from his success. In my eyes, it is more valuable than gold!” ~ Ron White
  34. “I’ve never been one to look up the ladder. I’ve always looked down the ladder. As long as there’s one guy down there, I’m fine.” ~ Ron White
  35. “I didn’t get where I am today by worryin’ about how I’d feel tomorrow.” ~ Ron White
  36. “You can’t fix stupid.” ~ Ron White

  37. “There are two kinds of comics; there are the ones who build bridges, and then there are the people who walk across the bridges as though they built them. The bridge builders are few and far between.” ~ Ron White
  38. “I was considered by my peers to be a good comedian. So that’s all I ever strived to do was get some recognition from my peers.” ~ Ron White
  39. “When life hands you lemons make lemonade. Then find someone whose life gave them Tequila and have a party.” ~ Ron White
  40. “From the very beginning, I started with a beer and a cigarette because I couldn’t figure out what to do with my hands. So usually I have a beer and cigarette and that’s what I was doing with my hands because that looked natural and felt good.” ~ Ron White
  41. “Other states are trying to abolish the death penalty… mine’s putting in an express lane.” ~ Ron White
  42. “There were years when I was a beer and tequila guy, then I got real fat. And then I found that you could actually go on a diet and drink scotch. Then I got hooked on scotch, and if you get hooked on scotch, then everything else just tastes wrong.” ~ Ron White
  43. “If you kill someone in Texas, we’ll kill ya back.” ~ Ron White

  44. “I believe everything creative is somewhat collaborative.” ~ Ron White
  45. “I’d like to start off this show by asking you all a question, cause I don’t know the answer. Uh, I lost my sunglasses and yesterday I went to the Sunglass Hut. Here’s the question: Why does a pair of sunglasses cost more than a 25-inch color television set? I go to the Sunglass Hut. I see a pair that I like. I don’t love them. I don’t. I like ’em. $309.” ~ Ron White
  46. Star Wars Episode Three (And One Quarter): Revenge Of The Hicks” ~ Ron White
  47. “Apparently I ain’t the only cat on the block digs Cheetos.” ~ Ron White
  48. “There have been times in my life that I’ve had a ton of vices, and my demons have run amok for years and years and years.” ~ Ron White
  49. “Naw, man, I like big, hard, throbbing co- (stunned pause) …I did not know that about myself.” ~ Ron White
  50. “I started selling out comedy clubs before I got to town with no advertising. I was selling out theaters just on the rumor that I was going to be there.” ~ Ron White
  51. “Anybody could say anything they want about me, and it literally never penetrates my skin.” ~ Ron White
  52. “I do live like a rock star, but it’s not as great as it sounds. It’s a lot of traveling.” ~ Ron White

  53. “It’s something that’s really fun to do. It’s a family business.” ~ Ron White
  54. “They call me Tater Salad” ~ Ron White
  55. “I’m definitely guilty of thinking something is funny but thinking the audience won’t. Then three years later I will finally try it and it’ll kill them. I got to give them more credit.” ~ Ron White
  56. “I don’t have a specific plan except for as long as people want to listen to me talk, I’m going to keep talking. I can’t imagine a life without doing standup.” ~ Ron White
  57. “I’ve got a great cigar collection – it’s actually not a collection, because that would imply I wasn’t going to smoke every last one of ’em.” ~ Ron White
  58. “My goal is just to become a better comedian.” ~ Ron White

  59. “I smoke really good cigars, I don’t smoke Cuban cigars. I would never do anything as Un-American as smoke a decent cigar.” ~ Ron White , Ron White quotes on cigars
  60. “I did have a deal for a little while a cigar company that never really materialized that much, except that I ended up with 100 boxes of my own cigars with my signature on them. Which is great, they are wonderful cigars but they never really fulfilled out so now I’m out of it. I can sign up with somebody else or go pick a blend or whatever. I probably will, there is no sense in not doing it.” ~ Ron White
  61. “Everybody I know is a joke writer.” ~ Ron White

  62. “If you look at the common denominator of all the comics who have had big success, it’s being true to their nature… that’s what takes a long time to learn.” ~ Ron White
  63. “In my Comedy Club sets, I just work on what is fresh and try to build that show as long as I can. I don’t like to do burnt material on stage. Even though my crowd loves to hear me do old stuff, I don’t like to do old stuff.” ~ Ron White
  64. “But I work harder now because I have so much more exposure. And actually the harder you work as a writer, the better you get at it. It’s like anything else. It’s a muscle you have to exercise. I write more now than ever.” ~ Ron White
  65. “I really understood a lot more about comedy after listening to Bill Hicks, who died at 32 years old. He’s probably the best comedian who ever lived. Although you can’t say that because of Carlin, Cosby, and Pryor.” ~ Ron White

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