60 Best Funny Family Quotes On Success In Life

These Funny Family quotes will inspire you.

Below you will find a collection of motivating, knowledgeable, and encouraging funny family quotes, funny family sayings, and funny family proverbs.

Inspirational Funny Family Quotes

  1. “In every conceivable manner, the family is link to our past, bridge to our future.” ~ Alex Haley
  2. “To lose one parent may be regarded as a misfortune; to lose both looks like carelessness.” ~ Oscar Wilde
  3. “If you ever start feeling like you have the goofiest, craziest, most dysfunctional family in the world, all you have to do is go to a state fair. Because five minutes at the fair, you’ll be going, ‘you know, we’re alright. We are dang near royalty.'” ~ Jeff Foxworthy
  4. “Some family trees bear an enormous crop of nuts.” ~ Wayne Huizenga

  5. “Other things may change us, but we start and end with the family.” ~ Anthony Brandt
  6. “To put the world in order, we must first put the nation in order; to put the nation in order, we must first put the family in order; to put the family in order; we must first cultivate our personal life; we must first set our hearts right.” ~ Confucius
  7. “Never underestimate a child’s ability to get into more trouble.” ~ Martin Mull
  8. “Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.” ~ George Burns

  9. “Family faces are magic mirrors. Looking at people who belong to us, we see the past, present and future.” ~ Gail Buckley
  10. “Insanity runs in my family. It practically gallops.” ~ Cary Grant
  11. “The only rock I know that stays steady, the only institution I know that works, is the family.” ~ Lee Iacocca
  12. “I grew up with six brothers. That’s how I learned to dance – waiting for the bathroom.” ~ Bob Hope

  13. “The family is one of nature’s masterpieces.” ~ George Santayana
  14. “Human beings are the only creatures on earth that allow their children to come back home.” ~ Bill Cosby
  15. “Parents are not interested in justice, they’re interested in peace and quiet.” ~ Bill Cosby , Funny family quotes parents
  16. “Like all the best families, we have our share of eccentricities, of impetuous and wayward youngsters, and of family disagreements.” ~ Queen Elizabeth II
  17. “The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a happy family all wrapped up in each other.” ~ Bill Vaughan

  18. “I live by my own rules (reviewed, revised, and approved by my wife).. but still my own.” ~ Si Robertson
  19. “If the family were a fruit, it would be an orange, a circle of sections, held together but separable – each segment distinct.” ~ Letty Cottin Pogrebin
  20. “You don’t choose your family. They are God’s gift to you, as you are to them.” ~ Desmond Tutu
  21. “To us, family means putting your arms around each other and being there.” ~ Barbara Bush

  22. “There is no such thing as fun for the whole family.” ~ Jerry Seinfeld
  23. “Like religion, politics, and family planning, cereal is not a topic to be brought up in public. It’s too controversial.” ~ Erma Bombeck
  24. “I think the family is the place where the most ridiculous and least respectable things in the world go on.” ~ Ugo Betti
  25. “As a child, my family’s menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.” ~ Buddy Hackett

  26. “The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother.” ~ Theodore Hesburgh
  27. “The advantage of growing up with siblings is that you become very good at fractions.” ~ Robert Breault
  28. “When our relatives are at home, we have to think of all their good points or it would be impossible to endure them.” ~ George Bernard Shaw
  29. “There are only two things a child will share willingly; communicable diseases and its mother’s age.” ~ Benjamin Spock

  30. “Family quarrels have a total bitterness unmatched by others. Yet it sometimes happens that they also have a kind of tang, a pleasantness beneath the unpleasantness, based on the tacit understanding that this is not for keeps; that any limb you climb out on will still be there later for you to climb back.” ~ Mignon McLaughlin
  31. “Earthmen are not proud of their ancestors and never invite them round to dinner.” ~ Douglas Adams
  32. “The family – that dear octopus from whose tentacles we never quite escape, nor, in our inmost hearts, ever quite wish to.” ~ Dodie Smith , Sarcastic funny family quotes
  33. “The place of the father in the modern suburban family is a very small one, particularly if he plays golf.” ~ Bertrand Russell

  34. “All happy families resemble one another, each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.” ~ Leo Tolstoy
  35. “To your enemy, forgiveness. To an opponent, tolerance. To a friend, heart. To a customer, service. To all, charity. To every child, a good example. To you, respect.” ~ Oren Arnold
  36. “Christmas gift suggestions: To your enemy, forgiveness. To an opponent, tolerance.” ~ Oren Arnold
  37. “There is no cure for laziness but a large family helps.” ~ Herbert V. Prochnow

  38. “I been with strangers all day and they treated me like family. I come in here to family and you treat me like a stranger.” ~ August Wilson
  39. “If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance.” ~ George Bernard Shaw
  40. “Important families are like potatoes. The best parts are underground.” ~ Francis Bacon

  41. “Family: A social unit where the father is concerned with parking space, the children with outer space, and the mother with closet space.” ~ Evan Esar
  42. “I have a 10-year-old boy and a 6-year-old boy and the stuff that they watch, it’s always… I mean, it could be because we’re a funny family, but they love the humor and combining humor with space action, I mean, you know, there’s a winner right there.” ~ Rhys Darby
  43. “My uncle’s dying wish – he wanted me on his lap. He was in the electric chair.” ~ Rodney Dangerfield
  44. “If you don’t believe in ghosts, you’ve never been to a family reunion.” ~ Ashleigh Brilliant

  45. “I am an only child. I have one sister.” ~ Woody Allen
  46. “I wish to thank my parents for making it all possible? and I wish to thank my children for making it necessary.” ~ Victor Borge
  47. “We were a very funny family. Humour was the tool with which my brother and I tried to get attention. We were always trying to be the funniest.” ~ Meg Cabot
  48. “Let us now set forth one of the fundamental truths about marriage: the wife is in charge.” ~ Bill Cosby

  49. “All the men in my family were bearded, and most of the women.” ~ W. C. Fields
  50. “My children love my mother, and I tell my children, that is not the same woman I grew up with…That is an old woman trying to get into heaven now.” ~ Bill Cosby , I love my family funny family quotes
  51. “Fathers are the geniuses of the house because only a person as intelligent as we could fake such stupidity.” ~ Bill Cosby
  52. “I had a very funny family.” ~ Zach Braff

  53. “Smartness runs in my family. When I went to school I was so smart my teacher was in my class for five years.” ~ Gracie Allen
  54. “I have a funny family, but none of them are remotely in show business.” ~ Wanda Sykes
  55. “Sometimes it’s heartbreaking to see your siblings as the people they’ve become. Maybe that’s why we all stay away from each other as a matter of course.” ~ Jonathan Tropper
  56. “Accidents will occur in the best-regulated families.” ~ Charles Dickens

  57. “In a household of toddlers and pets, we discover this rule of thumb about happy families – that they are least two-thirds incontinent.” ~ Robert Breault
  58. “The voice of parents is the voice of gods, for to their children they are heaven’s lieutenants.” ~ William Shakespeare
  59. “I can get up in the morning and look myself in the mirror and my family can look at me too and that’s all that matters.” ~ Lance Armstrong
  60. “I don’t have to look up my family tree, because I know that I’m the sap.” ~ Fred Allen

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