Inspiring Asparagus Quotes & Sayings Fresh

These asparagus quotes will inspire you. Asparagus is a tall plant of the lily family with fine feathery foliage, cultivated for its edible shoots.

A collection of motivating, happy, and encouraging asparagus quotes, asparagus sayings, and asparagus proverbs.

Best Asparagus Quotes

  1. “For a lot of people, poetry tends to be dull. It’s not read much. It takes a special kind of training and a lot of practice to read poetry with pleasure. It’s like learning to like asparagus.” ~ Thomas M. Disch
  2. “Are you casting asparagus on my cooking?” ~ Curly Howard
  3. “Asparagus inspires gentle thoughts.” ~ Charles Lamb
  4. “Let there be seasons so that our tongues will be rich in asparagus and limes.” ~ Anne Sexton
  5. “(on asparagus) Europeans of the Renaissance swore by it as an aphrodisiac, and the church banned it from nunneries.” ~ Barbara Kingsolver

  6. “Respecting the dignity of a spectacular food means enjoying it at its best. Europeans celebrate the short season of abundant asparagus as a form of holiday. In the Netherlands, the first cutting coincides with Father’s Day, on which restaurants may feature all-asparagus menus and hand out neckties decorated with asparagus spears.” ~ Barbara Kingsolver
  7. “You needn’t tell me that a man who doesn’t love oysters and asparagus and good wines has got a soul, or a stomach either. He’s simply got the instinct for being unhappy highly developed.” ~ Hector Hugh Munro
  8. “You know, when you get your first asparagus, or your first acorn squash, or your first really good tomato of the season, those are the moments that define the cook’s year. I get more excited by that than anything else.” ~ Mario Batali
  9. “Playwrights are like men who have been dining for a month in an Indian restaurant. After eating curry night after night, they deny the existence of asparagus.” ~ Peter Ustinov
  10. “I look forward to the spring vegetables because the season is so short. Mushrooms, edible foraged herbs, wild leeks, early season asparagus.” ~ David Chang

  11. “The attorney general will not cast aspersions on my asparagus.” ~ Louie Gohmert
  12. “Marriage? It’s like asparagus eaten with vinaigrette or hollandaise, a matter of taste but of no importance.” ~ Francoise Sagan
  13. “I was doing stand-up at a restaurant and there was a chalkboard on the street out front. It said, Soup of the Day: Cream of Asparagus. Ellen DeGeneres.” ~ Ellen DeGeneres
  14. “The love of reading can be contagious.” ~ Brandon Mull
  15. “Good luck with your asparagus.” ~ Eric Holder

  16. “Work! labor the asparagus me of life; the one great sacrament of humanity from which all other things flow – security, leisure, joy, art, literature, even divinity itself.” ~ Sean O’Casey
  17. “It wasn’t success, because Teller and I, by the time Asparagus Valley got together – within a year, we had achieved all our goals. I mean, our goal was to earn our living doing exactly what we wanted. Which is many people’s goal.” ~ Penn Jillette
  18. “my rebelliousness went so deep that, faced with a can of asparagus that instructed me to open at this end, I always, stubbornly, opened it at the other.” ~ Dorothy Gilman
  19. “Asparagus in a lean in a lean is to hot. This makes it art and it is wet weather wet weather wet” ~ Gertrude Stein
  20. “He’s simply got the instinct for being unhappy highly developed.” ~ Hector Hugh Munro

  21. “Some people are like ants. Give them a warm day and a piece of ground and they start digging. There the similarity ends. Ants keep on digging. Most people don’t. They establish contact with the soil, absorb so much vernal vigor that they can’t stay in one place, and desert the fork or spade to see how the rhubarb is coming and whether the asparagus is yet in sight.” ~ Hal Borland
  22. “I revere the memory of Mr. F. as an estimable man and most indulgent husband, only necessary to mention Asparagus and it appeared or to hint at any little delicate thing to drink and it came like magic in a pint bottle; it was not ecstasy but it was comfort.” ~ Charles Dickens
  23. “I love fresh vegetables and we always include them in our meals. I don’t force my kids to eat asparagus, but they do eat peas, broccoli, and carrots.” ~ Alison Sweeney
  24. “It was an emergency!” Seth blurted. “Read my lips – emergency reading – not some demented idea of fun. If I was starving, I would eat asparagus. If somebody held a gun to my head, I would watch a soap opera. And to save Fablehaven, I would read a book, okay, are you happy?” You had best be careful, Seth,” Grandma warned. “The love of reading can be contagious.” I just lost my appetite,” he declared.” ~ Brandon Mull
  25. “After twenty annual visits, I am still surprised each time I return to see this giant asparagus bed of alabaster and rose and green skyscrapers.” ~ Cecil Beaton

  26. “Coppi? Is he the one we followed in the Giro del Piemonte? The guy who is as skinny as an asparagus? He doesn’t lack courage, I’ll give you that, but I think he’s kind of fragile.” ~ Gino Bartali
  27. “One word, in this place, respecting asparagus. The young shoots of this plant, boiled, are the most unexceptionable form of greens with which I am acquainted.” ~ William Alcott
  28. “… if we have a dollar to spend on some wild excess, we shall spend it on a book, not on asparagus out of season.” ~ Katharine Fullerton Gerould
  29. “Yeah, well, asparagus is good for me, but it still makes me want to throw up.” ~ James Patterson
  30. “Rush Limbaugh and Sean Hannity would sit down and eat a steak with Keith Olbermann and Barack Obama before they would dine on tofu and asparagus with me!” ~ Gary Yourofsky

  31. “Microsoft has a new version out, Windows XP, which according to everybody is the ‘most reliable Windows ever.’ To me, this is like saying that asparagus is ‘the most articulate vegetable ever.'” ~ Dave Barry
  32. “Beginning with a critique of my own limbs, which she said, justly enough, were nothing to write home about, this girl went on to dissect my manners, morals, intellect, general physique, and method of eating asparagus with such acerbity that by the time she had finished the best you could say of Bertram was that, so far as was known, he had never actually committed murder or set fire to an orphan asylum.” ~ P. G. Wodehouse
  33. “Until-as often happened during those first months travel, whenever I would feel such happiness-my guilt alarm went off. I heard my ex-husband’s voice speaking disdainfully in my ear: So this is what you gave up everything for? This is why you gutted our entire life together? For a few stalks of asparagus and an Italian newspaper? I replied aloud to him: “First of all,” I said, “I’m very sorry, but this isn’t your business anymore. And secondly, to answer you question…yes.” ~ Elizabeth Gilbert
  34. “Changing my diet was the big thing. I had to learn correct portion control. . . . I eat an egg-white omelet for breakfast, shrimp and veggies for lunch, and chicken with asparagus for dinner.” ~ Lauren Alaina
  35. “Pray how does your asparagus perform?” ~ John Adams

  36. “It’s Major Ketchup in the bathroom with the laser scalpel.” “Hmm.” He sliced a delicately herbed spear of asparagus. “Obviously we were meant for each other as I can interpret that as you meaning something more like Colonel Mustard in the conservatory with the candlestick.” ~ Nora Roberts
  37. “Cut asparagus at night – in desperation. When one is very tired one always does one more thing.” ~ Anne Morrow Lindbergh
  38. “A white truffle, which elsewhere might sell for hundreds of dollars, seemed easier to come by than something fresh and green. What could be got from the woods was free and amounted to a diurnal dining diary that everyone kept in their heads. May was wild asparagus, arugula, and artichokes. June was wild lettuce and stinging nettles. July was cherries and wild strawberries. August was forest berries. September was porcini.” ~ Bill Buford
  39. “What is that smell? (Nick) (It was like three-day-old cat vomit mixed with rotten asparagus.) Duck urine. It keeps the zombies from thinking I’m human. (Mark) Yeah, well it keeps me from thinking you’re sane. (Nick)” ~ Sherrilyn Kenyon
  40. “The German asparagus are fabulous.” ~ George W. Bush

  41. “With passion, if you see the first asparagus of the springtime and you become passionate about it, so much the better, but three weeks later, when you’ve seen that asparagus every day now, passions have subsided. What’s going to make you treat the asparagus the same? It’s the desire.” ~ Thomas Keller
  42. “Can you suggest any suitable aspersions to spread abroad about Mrs. Thatcher? It is idle to suggest she has unnatural relations with Mrs. Barbara Castle; what is needed is something socially lower: that she eats asparagus with knife and fork, or serves instant mash potatoes.” ~ Sylvia Townsend Warner
  43. “That’s like buying asparagus and then leaving it at the checkout. Why would you do that?” ~ Deborah King

  44. “He took a bite, swallowed. “God. If asparagus tasted like that all the time, I’d be vegetarian, too.” Some people in a lacquered wooden boat approached us on the canal below. One of them, a woman with curly blond hair, maybe thirty, drank from a beer then raised her glass towards us and shouted something. “We don’t speak Dutch,” Gus shouted back. One of the others shouted a translation: “The beautiful couple is beautiful.” ~ John Green
  45. “I would follow my mother around the kitchen watching and trying to find any way to help. One of the first dishes my mother taught me to make was hollandaise sauce. Though she always served it with broccoli, I soon realized it was equally delicious with asparagus, artichokes, or any other vegetable.” ~ Tracy Pollan
  46. “The word ‘vegetable’ has no precise botanical meaning in reference to food plants, and we find that almost all parts of plants have been employed as vegetables – roots (carrot and beet), stems (Irish potato and asparagus), leaves (spinach and lettuce), leaf stalk (celery and Swiss chard), bracts (globe artichoke), flower stalks and buds (broccoli and cauliflower), fruits (tomato and squash), seeds (beans), and even the petals (Yucca and pumpkin).” ~ Charles Heiser

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